Sometimes, 
People saw the laugh, but they never knew the tears.


The truth is,
People just see what we express,
But they never know what's in our heart.


I wish the best for you.
Wish we will meet again someday.


If I can turn back time,
I'll turn to the time when you are still mine,
That moment when everything is just perfect.


God,only u are the one who know how much i miss him and our relationship.


'Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead'-Adele

I have no idea.
This past few days, I cant stop crying.
Wherever I go, whatever I do, I'll cry.
Kat ofis, kat rumah, tgh drive, tgh mkn, every minutes and every hour.
Oh God please help me.
It seems i'm getting worst.
Sometimes macam terfikir nak jmp psychologists mtk counseling.
And I nak mintak ubat to control stress, to control my emotion.
Seriously, im getting serious.

Because of one thing/person, my life totally change...
I do regret.
I want my happiness back.
I want my love back.

Oh Allah,
ringankanlah dugaan ini...
Jika ditakdirkan dia untukku,
permudahkanlah dugaan ini,
bantulah kami.
Namun jika sebaliknya,
kau tutplah pintu hatiku serapat2nya dari terus mengasihi dia.
Luputkanlah memori2 indah kami,
agar dapat aku teruskan hidup ini dengan senyuman.

I dah xkuat lagi.
I dah terlalu lemah.
I dah xmampu berdiri lagi.
I'm trying to accept the reality,
but the most important thing is,
I cant pretend that I dont love you.

Oh God....
;((((

Kalau aku ramai kawan kat sini, xde masalah.
Ni x, xde sape.
Suma jauh2.
Shah Alam lain, Gombak lain...
Kat Shah Alam dulu suma bertumpu kat situ,
sekarang suma bpecah, jauh2..
Haihhhh
Susah nak bergerak sana sini ape lagi malam-malam.


Kalau I ada orang lain, I pasti dah ajak orang lain....
I pun segan nak asyik2 nak mintak tolong you.
Tapi you lah paling dekat dengan i.
Entahlah, you know it, but.....

I wish God give me the strength to continue my journey.
So much thing to do, and I'm tired.
I'm not strong enough for this perhaps.
Maturity means responsibility right?
And I'm not ready for that.

Jauh berlari-lari aku
Jatuh tersungkur dan menangis
Namun masih tidak berganjak
Kaki terpasak tidak berubah

Ahhhh
Lemas aku lemas
Sesak aku sesak
Sakit aku sakit
Pedih aku pedih

Tawa diundang, tangis yang datang
Buta dalam riang
Permata aku pegang
Sudah bertukar kaca berderai
Apa lagi hendak ku lakukan

Lemah
dan
aku
semakin
lemah...

Silent is golden.
That's the best.
If you want, act like u want.
If not, just leave....
Me.

Sucks.
Problem.
Problem.
Problem.
One after another.

'Allah tidak akan menguji hambaNya lebih dari kemampuan hamba itu sendiri'

Yeahhhhhhh!!!!!
I have God.
I do have my family.
I do have best best best friends.
I do have many people around me.

I know they will support me.
Stronger baby!!!!

I really had tough days lately. Since new sem baru start, i need to do and settled many things.

I don't have much leisure time to run my cafe, farm and etc. Luckily ada assistant to play it. Heeeeee.

Tired, but I'm happy.

Ouh, I'm entering a new world. Interesting! Love it! I want to change myself and my life! Next post ok! Daaaaaa!!!

;)

Just woke up and switch on my lappy. Have nothing to write actually, but i do miss to update my blog. Adeyh! Ouh, the class still not started yet for some subject. But today ada 3 classes; takaful, islamic economic and ethnic relationship. 8pening sekejap* Something 'weird' since i'm in s.alam, I have no problem to wake up in the morning. Sedangkan masa cuti sem, bangun tdo pun ala2 duduk kat London gitu. Ntah ke mana siang, ke mana malam.

For BEL422 class, we gonna meet A.P THEVY again. Aiyooooooo scary la. Wont forget her trademark, 'rubbish'. Erk! Btw, sara and me have discussed yesterday and perhaps we will change our group. I have no problem at all! Like it! But maybe will mix with other courses lah. Xkesah, as long as the lecturer is not thevy! ;P

And even already 3 days the new sem start, I still did not meet Sara, Fara, Kecik and some other close friend yet. Sara datang UiTM for society meeting then goin back to gombak. Farah plak, lost in heaven. Ntah mana2 ntah. Aishhh..

And yesterday night, baru dapat jmp kesayangan. Tu pon sekejap due to our packed schedule. Zaty said 'bercinta ngn orang yg belajar kemahiran ni, AD ke, music ke, kena byk sabar....'. Yelah, memang sabar. Cannot meet him everyday, even a week pon once or twice je. Kol or msg pon sangat xslalu. Waaaaaaaaaa!!! But thank God, we still can faced this kind of problem. I appreciate all the things you do for this relationship sayang. ;)

Okeyh, on9 actually utk tgk my cafe je. Daaaaaaaa!

Masalah yang xpernah abes. Dan jugak keseronokan yang berganda-ganda. Sumanya wujud dalam 2009. Xpe, baru 2009, blom 2012! Hahahahaaha

Ape yang pasti pengalaman mengajar manusia. Kesalahan adalah kayu pengukur kepada penambahbaikan yang bakal dilakukan.

Masalah kewangan 2009 memang sangat mencabar. Defisit yang aku hadapi nampaknya bakal dikendong ke 2010. Tahniah Nisa! Well done! Mulakan 2009 dengan inflasi juga pembayaran cukai2 implisit dan eksplisit.

Btw, orang celcom non stop kol mtk hutang berukband dlu. Saket ati la jugak. Dah cakap nanti taon depan bayar, xpyh la gedik2 nk kol byk kali. Tapi xpe, ini menunjukkan staff celcom amat berdedikasi dan berwibawa. Tidak begitu tuan2 dan puan2? Tahniah celcom! (haktuih)

Masalah dalam family 2009 jugak boleh tahan. Kecik ati sana, kecik ati sini, tapi sibuk gak kalo bleh nk balik tiap2 mggu jmp mak ayah. Kecik2 ati pon, duit mak ayah aku berjaya abeskan dengan jayanya juga. Uh! Salah satu kejayaan yang aku tempa sepanjang 2009! Btw, masalah berkaitan fmly, P&C. Xleh cerita kat cni.

Study plak, just ok. Alhamdulillah, berkat usaha last minute, doa, pertolongan kawan2 dan pastinya lecturer2, result semakin baik. Adalah peningkatan. Thank God. ;)

Yang lain2, kawan rakan taulan. Macam biasa la. Ada je yang xpuas ati ngn aku dan ada je yg aku xpuas ati. Seronok gak kutuk mengutuk. Yang paling best bila cakap pasal orang lain, orang lain plak terasa. Ntah ape penyakit manusia ni aku pon tataw. Malas nak cakap bebanyak. Suka ati kau lah~

Selain tu, 2009 memberi byk pengajaran dalam mengenal manusia. Break up and down. Huh~ One thing for sure, setelah macam2 yang aku lalui, kena dump jugak mengedump, at last I found my man. The one. Hope this relationship kekal dan seperti yang diharapkan.

♥ ♥ ♥
Mohamad Syazwan Azmi

In this situation,
At least I have someone to hear me.
To cry on his shoulder.
To count on.

My love,
Mohamad Syazwan Azmi ♥ ♥ ♥
Thank you so much sayang.
I.L.Y.

Uh, I dunno. Confused with the way we draw our path. The patience, and ignorance, commitment perhaps. I'm trying, but understanding is not accepting. I never ask people to change their world, but do you realize my existence? Am i needed?

Or I need to change?

Rai, bgn la, I need you to talk. Sekarang jugak (4.30pagi waktu tempatan). Nak nanges plis... Xde orang lain I can count on...

~blank~

It's always about 'feeling'. How we want people to understand us. How people consider on our condition and situation. The problems and conclusions. But, sometimes we forget the most important part. We want people to know how it feel, but we totally ignore other people feeling.

That's life. Consideration. Understanding. Smile. Tears. And all about it. I learn a lot. Fulfill other people wish and hope, but at the same time i'm the one who hurt. Family, friends, loved one, foe and so on.

Family comes first. In everything, family, family and family. Nothing beat them. It just what they wish is not our hope. Even far from our interest and plan. How could I disappoint them. But then i'm the one who'll feel it! Arghhhh Yeah, in between, but the right path in our hand actually. It's family. Buat baik dibalas baik kata mak... *cheers* ;)

Friends.... Some are born to be a great complainer perhaps. Keep criticizing. You are the one who always right. I'm tired. Hoping people understand on you. Only. At same time you refused to consider on others. Come out with so many words and talk. And dissent. It's ok, we are different. But I hate when you just think about you, you and yourself. So that when we faced that problem, simply you just ignoring other's explanation. And people must hear you. Hey hey! You want people to consider on you, but you never want to do the same right?

Yeahh...im not that perfect person. I may do the same. But I always try to consider, consider and considering people. Arghhhh! Mior cakap, jgn asyik nampak salah orang je. Cermin diri tu sket. Btol lah tu. Bila banyak sangat masalah yang datang, there must something wrong in our self. Mak cakap, 'if we cannot change the situation, change ourself'. Hear it friend. I just want the best for you, me and us.

And understand the loved one. Aiyooo this may the hardest part, challenging, but I love it! When two person, from two different world, trying to enter another world, as one. You, with your own way. Your own perception. Me, with my own preferences and principal. And the relationship is blow by the loved wind. Hiks! Sometimes its hard for us to satisfied each other. Different opinions. Attention. Cares. TIME. Busy. And so forth. Then how we managed it to come out with the right solution. And I love when we trying very hard to understand each other. Giving our best. Thanks baby! Accepting other as he/she is. That's the key. ;)

I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel,
But words cant explain it this feelings just to real

I miss you so much and I cant wait to see your face,
Cuz when were together my heart begins to race.

This is for you sayang.... ;)

Untuk yang sedang bercinta atau sudah bertunang, atau dalam kekecewaan, amal2kan lah doa ini.

'Bingkisan Doa.'

Ya Allah.... Seandainya telah engkau catatkan... Dia milikku tercipta buatku... Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku... Titipkanlah kebahagian antara kami.... agar kemesraan itu abadi... Dan ya Allah... ya tuhanku yang maha mengasihi... Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini... Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi...

Tetapi ya Allah... Seandainya telah engkau takdirkan.... dia bukan miliku... Bawalah ia jauh dari pandanganku.... Luputkanlah ia dari ingatanku... Dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan....

Serta ya Allah ya tuhanku yang maha mengerti.... Berikanlah aku kekuatan... Melontar bayangannya jauh ke dada langit... Hilang bersama senja nan merah.. agarku bisa bahagia... Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya...

Dan ya Allah yang tercinta... Gantillah yang telah hilang.... Tumbuhkanlah kembali yang telah patah... Walaupun tidak sama dengan dirinya...

Ya Allah ya tuhanku... Pasrahkanlah aku dengan takdirmu... Sesungguhnya apa yang telah engkau takdirkan... Adalah yang terbaik buat ku.... kerana engkau maha mengetahui... Segala yang terbaik buat hamba Mu ini...

Ya Allah... Cukuplah engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaku... Di dunia dan di akhirat... Dengarlah rintihan dari hamba Mu yang daif ini... Jangan engkau biarkan aku sendirian... Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat... Menjuruskan aku kearah kemaksiatan dan kemungkaran... Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman... Supaya aku dan dia sama2 dapat membina Kesejahteraan hidup... Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai... dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan yang soleh....

Amin.. Ya Rabbal A'lamin. .


mungkin untuk awak...