About a girl who still confuse...

Hahahaha sound like 'gedik' for me to talk about love. But yeah.. After almost 3 month being single, now I start to think if should I hv a bf... Ermmm... Do a girl need a bf, do a boy need a gf?(thinking)

I've been in a relationship bout couple of years... A great journey. As I 'fall in love' (laugh) since I'm in form 3, and we withstand for about 6 yrs, the situation push me to think about this...

People says, 1st love is the greatest love, and unforgettable. I do agree. Him. The 1st love. I still remember my 1st date, the 1st present, the 1st hug, the 1st bla bla bla n all... It is like..ouhhh miracle perhaps? With him, I learn A LOT about life and love. The way he teach me to think, to appreciate, tolerance and patience, sincere, believe, handling emotion, bla bla bla.... Where I learn to be a lover. But at last, it come to the end juga....

Today, I admit that I am lonely. I miss a MAN. Who can always stand by me. To support me. To hear and hug me. But..arghhhh... Not that easy. The way of 1st love still shadowing my life. It's like...I want all man to be like him... What a suck!

I'm desperate okeyh! (haktuih). It just like something is missing... Kosong... Kekosongan dalam hati. *sigh*

Erm...the other thing, am I a PLAYGIRL? Lot of scandals? (ada org cakap macam tuh) adoyai.... Salah ke berkawan dengan ramai orang? Just because I hang out with that guy, this guy, guy, guy, guy, then you think I'm dat type of person? (nailbiting)

I do hang out with hamie(I like the way he is, sangat tulus!), abg zul, afzul, ayin, and man also! Cerk pon penah join g Tesco ape! Shopping, jalan2, movies, lunch, dinner, bla bla bla and so on... So, is it wrong? Tell me, knp saya bersalah sebab kuar ngn lelaki yang berbeza2? Erm, I never failed to spend my time with my girls ok. Those ISBArian, Sarah, anis, zaty, aira, ekin and all.... So someone, answer my question plis!

Peoples... Simply assuming dat my life is just ok . Sorrounded by mans, friends, happy family, but it's only me and my heart who understand myself. Laugh doesn't mean happiness dear... I'm stuck in myself. I'm died in my heart.

I did not request for the best as I'm not that perfect. Surely I want the best, but am I that good to get toghether with the best? (sigh).

Sometime people didn't realize how much a girl need him... And even he realize, myb he just ignore it, the reason; xnak bagi harapan. Hurm... What more can I say? I will never force myself to fall in love. Ohh not that simple.... Tak salah berharap, tapi saya tidak hidup dalam harapan. Life is life... About hoping... About waiting... Awak.

And also about bringing happiness into our life. We determined what type of happiness dat we want. It's us who bring happiness!(try)

Whatever it is, I am waiting for the God's plan. God knows the best.... And most important;

'seize the day or die regretting the time you lost'.

5 Responses
  1. kapan Says:

    1st love is the greatest love....
    ak suka ungkapan ini...

  2. Anonymous Says:

    oh..its not wrong at all to want a man!! sgt fhm prasaan tu..sometimes..its fun n great lepak2 ngn kwn2 pompuan/laki kite sniri..but smetime..u just need 1 diffrnt guy to run too and just spend the day wth him n relax.

  3. Anonymous Says:


    just trust ur self no matter what..

  4. Anonymous Says:

    mmg btol do!!!~
    selalu nya bnda yg first2 ni susah nak lupa..